Racism and Modern Air Travel

Lessons gleaned  from the story of the American housewife strip searched at a Detroit airport.

• Don't fly if you have an olive complexion and Mediterranean features.
• If you are traveling alone be careful who sits next to you.
• Especially if the people sitting on either side of you are men with dark skin.
• If your seatmates go to the toilet, report it immediately to the stewardess. 
• Don't eat anything before flying that might give you the trots; better to shit your pants than go to the toilet because only terrorists use toilets.
• Don't make any plans for the first five hours after you arrive to allow for armed detention and interrogation. 

Remember, they (flight attendants, air marshals, TSA agents) are more frightened of you than you are of them. Remain calm (because God know they won't) and always wear clean underwear when you travel because you never know when you will be forced to strip in front of strangers.